Kill animal with every gun

[hatchet]

Every time I get in an arguement with the wife about her buying something useless(in my eyes), such as a new diamond. I always tell
her that at least a gun can put food on the table. So, it is my goal to kill
an animal this season with every gun. I figure that at $5.00 per pound
of meat, that I can get my worth out of my guns with 2,400 pounds of
meat.

[Chris J. Flynn]

Dear Hatchet:

Should the gods favor you in your endeavor, it is my uninformed estimate that you will need (in no particular order):

1. A freezer
2. A taxidermist
3. A good lawyer

There are some arguments one must lose gracefully.

Bests, Chris Flynn

(Been there, done that.)

[wardwarf]

you might be able to get around the lawyer by buying out of state hunting licenses in every state for every season, and quit your job, and do lots of traveling...then again it might be cheaper to hire a lawyer....

[Omak Cowboy]

Hatchett,
I've been a certified gemologist appraiser for nearly 30 years. I can report that women look at diamonds and such much like we look at an 1874 Sharps. Beauty being in the eye of the beholder.

I'd suggest you compromise. She gets something beautiful and you get something beautiful. I think I'd put her first in line, though as it's been my experience that if she is looking at the gemstone's brilliancy she will notice less the shine in your eye over the new Sharps.
Omak

[JAGG]

H ! You are going to need a few freezers ! Where are you going hunting on a Cattle ranch ? Good diamonds hold their value so think of your wifes hobby as a good investment in case we go into a depression again ! Or when the Supreme Court takes your house away from you to build a hot dog stand on it for the good of the people ! So you and your wife are in toon with the same idea of survival ! Diamonds, Gold , Silver, platinum, and Guns, ammo, food ! JAGG

[hatchet]

Well, since my original post. I bought a .45colt vaquero, Winchester 9422
and a Kimber Eclipse 10mm. I just keep getting farther in the hole.
Somebody, please stop me. HELP.

[Josh A.]

In all seriousness guys I would like to make a few observations on the rifle/diamond connection. Bear in mind this is coming from a guy with bulging rifle vaults and dozens of rifles and sixguns I don't even remember buying and haven't shot in decades.

1) A womens connection to diamonds is not like our connection to rifles. A diamond to a women is a dazzling SYMBOL of the affection of their husband. A real diamond must be stunning AND represent the connection.

2) To keep some balance in a relationship you are going to have to make the sacrifice to buy the diamonds. Either deal with a trusted outfit or research the subject and get the best that you CAN'T afford. Always go overboard when you are buying her diamonds.

3) A women should NEVER know that a new diamond is coming, she should have no input on its purchase. With that said, the diamond cannot disappoint it must be large and perfect. Never sacrifice quality for size. You should spend the time and money to come up with a stunning diamond or two and surprise her with it. She can't see it coming if it is to have the perfect effect.

4) A woman will decide when she has enough diamonds. At some point she will be satisfied and will require very little after this point is reached.

If you will do this for her, you will end up with a better relationship and you won't have to feel guilty everytime a rifle follows you home.

Josh

[ironramrod]

Josh,

Amen brother! Listen up guys; Josh has hit the nail squarely on the head on the first whack. He knows whereof he speaks. I can't second his comments strongly enough. If momma is happy, poppa is going to be happy, too; if momma ain't happy, nobody is going to be happy.

Why is it that way? I think it's because it's a gal thing.

Regards

[RMulhern]

Hatchet

Ya gotta larn...that ye might control A LOT OF THINGS!

But MaMa contols......100% of.....another thing!!

[Old Doe Shooter]

May I submit the following:
1) A woman's affection for diamonds ( or any other rock) has nothing to do with a husband or love any more than a man's affection for guns has to do with a wife or love... widows and single women buy tons of diamonds for the same reason men buy guns. REAL women LIKE to have diamonds. REAL men like to have guns.
2) Trying to keep a balance in a relationship by buying diamonds is like the arms race and will spend you into the poor house so get your guns first. Guilt will stop her from buying diamonds faster than it will stop a man from buying guns. Besides, when did your wife last buy you a gun as a gift? How many times did you get a gun as an anniversary present?
3) A diamond a woman doesn't see coming is one that will plainly appear to be a gift of guilt on your part and she's going to want to talk about the 'other woman' or what REALLY EXPENSIVE gun you bought that you are trying to cover up. IF she ever bought you a gun would you want to ask what's SHE has been up to?
4) A woman will decide when she has a enough diamonds like a man decides when he has enough guns. Size matters, they can't see clarity but they can see carats. Ever hear anyone say..." did you see the clarity of so and so's ring"? Nope, it's " Damn! That thing is so big it would archor the QE II"!!!
5) Buying your lady diamonds just cuts into your gun budget. If she wants rocks let her get rocks from her rock budget.
6) HER diamonds are as good an investment as YOUR guns
Don't spoil her fun by doing her shopping for her. Women LOVE to shop for the sport of it. Usually they do it while you go shooting or hunting.

39 years, one wife. 3 over-flowing gun vaults and a over-flowing jewelry box IN the gun vault...

[Trigger Dr]

I have bought my wife 1 diamond. it is the 1 ct in her wedding eing. She has NEVER questioned my gun purchases, trades or any of the related accessories. She used to hunt with me until her health started to slip (blood pressure and cardiac erythmia). but still like to shoot. Give her a rifle and put her in the barn with the door closed and she still cannot hit the wall, floor or roof. Give her her 7 1/2" Ruger Black hawk and Katy bar the door. I have seen her roll a basket ball at 100 yards with it. She has her life and her money,I have my life and my money and we have OUR LIFE and OUR MONEY together.
After 31 years she will still help me cast, reload and burn up the powder. She helps on all the pyrotechnic display work and NEVER complains.
There AIN'T a man on this board that is any more foprtunate than I in this respect, however I will bet there are a good number of you that are equally as fortunate.
Jim

[Guest]

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[JRMSR]

Every time I get in an argument with the wife about her buying something useless(in my eyes), such as a new diamond. I always tell
her that at least a gun can put food on the table. So, it is my goal to kill
an animal this season with every gun. I figure that at $5.00 per pound
of meat, that I can get my worth out of my guns with 2,400 pounds of
meat.

The problem is your argument which is a old as the hills, is groundless.

" Think of all the money we could save if you would quit spending it on your hunting trips!" " You expect me to eat that!?" " How much did that cost?"

!(Useless in your eyes) doesn't count! Following her line of thinking, a diamond has many uses and symbolizes, some hidden and some obvious things. For instance, they can show others how much you adore her company or that you pride her over all else, or even how much you value her companionship. The hidden part is much more discernable, such as they can cut glass (snicker), or they will increase in value over the years, (blah, blah blah)!

Bottom line here is, after 32 years of marriage, I've learned that, " whether a women is right or wrong, the man always gets the blame." So the pursuits of such arguments will only result ultimately in failure and one sided clarity!! IMMHO

DISCLAIMER

On the contrary, this is not an example of my wifes and my relationship. We allow many things and contribute to many together but I'm always wary of the possible outcomes. The bible teaches us that, "a wise man ponders his own steps." I believe that God was trying to tell us, that it would be quite dangerous to tread where others dare to go, with a women in mind!!

Cheers

Jeff

PS Angie, if you happen to read this while your gone, I'm being a good boy, honest, really!!!

[RMulhern]

Ya know what a man is to 99.9% of women??



A wallet with legs!!

[Trigger Dr]

WARNING TO ALL SINGLE MEN...
If you are thinking about getting married,.....
BUY A DOG... the license is cheaper and it already has a fur coat.
JIM